Romantic vs Communal Love

I have been feeling nostalgic as of late.. nostalgic for these words and feelings which have since turned foreign to me.

To love with a fragile heart is a dangerous game... Scared and fickle, still she upturns rocks whose affections lay hidden from her. Bold little thing.

Far braver and more boisterous than I.

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Those of you who know me might have heard me consider myself "undateable." No, this is not to say that I don't feel love. Quite the contrary, I feel love so deeply, too often to the point of self destruction.

Since separating from my marriage, the last year and a half has incurred a period of immense introspection and growth for me.

This time has taught me so much about the proper use of ego/self love versus intuitive empathy, and my ability to control how every situation affects me.

I used to feel I was at the mercy of my emotions, blindly lead by these feelings whether they positively served me or not. "A walking, bleeding heart" is how I referred to myself. The embodiment of my heart on my sleeve, or rather my heart in your hands.

Now I have been able to culminate some of the strongest, most genuine connections I've ever felt with people, while maintaining their romantically intimate affections at a safe arm's length distance.

It is the most whole I have ever felt, to share the affections of those who, like my former self, feel plagued by their enormous hearts and boundless, yet unreciprocated, love. I am able to fulfill those empty spaces where love SHOULD exist, while also maintaining healthy social boundaries which allow me the space to heal my own wounds.

Just know that you don't ever have to feel guilty for feeling love for others. That is why we are here on this Earth. Not to build walls and shut people out for fear of our own fragile egos, but to always put forth the positive radiant light we wish to see returned to us, as well as paid forward infinitely to the farthest reaches of our brothers and sisters across the world... Across the universe.

We are one soul, one heart. Together we are whole.

Rs.Darko