Verbatim

Lemme kiss you in all the places, all the ways you never knew you could feel love   Where we don’t even have to touch with anything but our eyes and know We are wild creatures Begging for a howl under moons yet to understand our fullness  Let the warmth of my lips be your home Where you can let yourself unfold Risking nothing but soiled sheets and unexplored desires My tongue massaging aches you carry like thorns in your stem  Attempting these acrobatics fluently as you surrender to my blossoming of petals Tell me how you daydream of throbbing between my sweaty palms on a Sunday morning Moaning for “God” praying for “fuck” I wanna suck your soul from your body and let it drip from my mouth like a scandalous whisper Tracing cursive scripture into your skin The sweetest poetry I’ve ever written With nothing but cliffhanger stanzas to remind you that I am far from finished

Where do I begin When the whole world has been crumbling for a minute All of us fighting for this pot to piss in like it’s the only place to sit Game of porcelain thrones Everyone bleeding over one-ply papers Worth international deficit Shout out to my American privilege Where ignorance is protected And propaganda is the primary news outlet No scorn over countries war torn, just know both sides are US funded Terror isn’t as terrifying til you and yours become the target When it comes knocking at your door Economic decline existing solely in the working class and poor Gas is $4.20 in Vegas on a good day I’m just trying to make it to work Make it work Knowing someone else is benefiting from this sweat Thirty percent of this check Already guaranteed to the government Navigating tourist traffic They have a habit of making us their escape Make us wait as they wade through ensembles of tax dollars on display While teachers take yet another strike day Begging for a fraction of what is deserve

Mom, Dad, teacher, friend, Life coach, therapist, love guru, Seriously, the list does not end… My Mom always was, is, and will be, EVERYTHING Equal parts enamoring and terrifying I remember as a child  Forever pining for her tickles before bed However panicked every evening Hearing her heavy steps Clamoring as she climbed our iron staircase after a ten-hour shift Little hands desperately fanning the tv to remove traces of our lazy mischief Spoiler alert, she always found out anyway Apparently in addition to being everything, she really knew everything too Momma Dukes is one of the sweetest, most compassionate, and deepest people Kind, articulate, and true She has also been known to be a little bit of a scrappy chick with an incredibly short fuse Oh, how the feet never stray too far from the shoes Such big ones to fill… My mom did her best to raise me in a way I could learn self-respect, love and faith I can honestly say, to this day, she raises me still Raises my spirits, hopes Raises

Speak your piece Release Until your sound waves Hit my ears directly I could not care less  How you come at me In willingly listening company  You like the taste of my name It’s no surprise Roll her around on your tongue twice  You’ve sampled this spice A few times, I know, Because I’m not afraid to share My hands are shy, My lips are not They move constantly Til all my truth lies bare Heart stitched into cellophane sleeves For full transparency  Sometimes it takes a whip to be taught  The difference between talking And being heard People just aren’t used to hearing about themselves Sometimes they aren’t ready to receive the message And that’s okay, I’ve never spoken thoughts to backs More than faces And my door is always open You got tea you wish to share Something to wash from your hair Come here, and spill it

 A bottomless pit of hunger and pain Insanity becomes me Momentarily Hormones coursing through these veins, this bosom, every curve A roadmap to creation Uterine walls shed The nurture of a childless womb Concurrent Moon cycles pull Delicate petals swell and swirl  A stream of what some perceive as criminal An actual miracle Monthly reminder that I am a portal to realms Man can barely understand  A quill for God’s hand Sensitivity is my strength Vulnerability is my gift  A vow written in blood I am WOMAN Period.

When life throws you lemons You make lemonade… What happens when life throws you Salt, strawberries, and a hint of shade? Baby, you just go straight ahead and make that shit show cocktail No, for real, I’ve been almost completely sober for about 48 hours Thinking this lack of chemicals would have me thinking clearly But all that’s been revealed is that I’m clearly fucked up regardless It seems I crave chaos more than citrus  Finding doubt in most things without a subtle taste of destruction Rule me guilty of DWI Dating Without Intention One slip of your tongue And my heart has fallen under construction Suddenly you’ve slid from DMs into detours Even gps can’t seem to navigate  The blocks I create between us I’m staring at these crossroads Wanting to jump into the ocean Hoping to speed evolution Growing gills and galavanting with all these damn fish people want me to find This bowl has gotten smaller and smaller With every octopus whose ink has fueled my pen Tentacles creeping from ever

I used to think I wanted a forever partner I’m a Scorpio, so you know I still do But everything is so finite in this reality, As you like to remind me, It’s all about timing Just don’t mind me being happy to have a couple moments for me and you Forever is a long time, A promise rarely upheld Perhaps forever is just a feeling like love itself Coming and going as it pleases Subconsciously fleeting, Like Nickelodeon or Disney  Always finding ways to return Comic books and super heroes Who died already then had the audacity To respawn in an alternate universe Perhaps this is just our origin story Two celestial bodies dancing around collision For the first time We find ourselves pulling closer by sheer magnitude Though we have our own solar systems to attend to… I can honestly say I love you Because I have for a while Though the feeling has reshaped and grown and shown me Different reasons why You know the clarity of atmospheric boundaries in a seemingly boundless sky Gravity giving purpose

Can we talk? Do you still have me blocked? Walking around with this heart half-cocked Tongue wrapped tightly around the trigger Dig a hole through my liver with escapes Reminds me of the way you taste Reminds me of plans we made How they found a way to dissipate Into mere memories of the life we thought we could create together I, too, thought “soulmates” meant forever Til we met a tempest we could not weather Like feathers whipping ‘round hurricanes Trying to grip each other by the fingertips Quill-written sonnets folded into paper planes Soggy from turbulent fights and extended trips away Funny how you always find reasons to stay When I’ve finally started feeling the sun upon my face Embracing raindrops in a light drizzle After several stormy days I’m okay In fact, I’m good. I said, I’m fucking GOOD. I don’t need an umbrella, thank you  When I say “umbrella,” I mean Trust issues and insecurities Disguised as protection and nurturing, Projected tendencies Toward possessiveness and emo

Chapter I  Full spectrum from black and white I've earned every stripe Of these rainbow fibers Woven refraction  Into crystalline skin Used to stripe myself Someone With nowhere to belong Felt like I never did Poor kid Dumped by Daddy Just as soon As he dumped his seed into The bastard stew Of my mother's womb Familiarized with feeling Displacement Before I ever even knew The difference Between being queer And just being a bit odd Following  A Furious God Well-versed in Merciless fire lost, profaned I grew accustomed to His Flames Blood became An acquired taste From biting my tongue Even laughed at the expense Of one of my friends, Ashamed to say I lacked the courage To come to her defense When they said, "She is such a dyke, Like, it is so obvious" Fear twinges in lightning strikes Would they suspect me next? At fifteen, Had my first lick of freedom Between my best friend's legs The kind of sweet nectar You never forget Softness that feels like sin Scent of cinna

Warm bodies lie with cold hearts Mouths lie with lips Favored paramour Flavored movements Works of art Chest to chest Hips to hips Living metaphor Lessons fluent, Eloquent even Communicating feelings Feeling freedom from conditioned fantasies for the first time Consistency is key Unlock internally Soul, heart, mind Remember to surrender Remember time is not linear No rush to healing Feeling without touch Revealing intimacies  Without boundaries Friendship and Love Being without Form  Connection without phones Tapped in, turned on, charged, calling, Home Please Do not disturb

Everything around me holds a shadow of us I can’t look at a storefront Without seeing us holding hands Can’t listen to a band Without envisioning Me sitting in your car with my legs across your lap It’s more bittersweet than sad How the more distance grown between us Makes these moments more precious  And I’m holding onto them like Polaroids  Praying they never fade into little more Than washed out sepia imprints of what was