Verbatim

I just wanna make potions and fuck. - JAM

I feel like we should still talk about people in present tense when they die.

I hate you the most when I really need you And you're there like you've always been Like you're still my best friend and we can face anything together Like I never left, Like you never let me.. Like we didn't have to let the story end And maybe there was still a chance for happily ever after Something about the softness in your eyes Or the secret in your smile Suddenly you didn't seem so evil I wept, and you held me closely Lips whispering in my ear, "You'll always be family" Heart screaming, "I'll always love you" Some things really don't ever change Because you've always loved me most when I needed to be saved I only crave you like my last cigarette When I see you making someone else happy Giving them that fix you used to give me, Or when I smell you and momentarily I am tempted by the familiarity My fingerstips itching to paint you in my past regrets I hate you most when I see you growing into the man I always wished you had be

Four walls and a ceiling Start feeling more like home now In this skin which has felt foreign to me for months I tried to hide behind an upturned chin, faded eyes, and a smiling mouth Truthfully 2020 has not been how I envisioned Stagnation across the nation Started locally imprisoned Right here, between these two ears Open only to excuses, and projections Disguised as manifestations I've learned it's easy To run away from accountability When everything you do seems to yield the smallest bit of productivity Because we stay chasing after checks, The most exhausting minimum Too tired to fully invest into our own vision, Or too scared To put forth our best effort just to still end up nowhere Some say success is determined by perspective It's hard to deny when your Spotify gets less than a thousand listens Then what was it all for? Bragging rights, clout? Like a little league trophy you only pull out When there's company over and you're feeling nostalgic Remember when w