Verbatim

I am plagued by thoughts of loneliness Though I am not alone I have my son, I have my friends, I have my work, And I have a community which loves and fulfills me... But in this moment, I don't have you I told myself I would never want to possess nor restrict you from the very world which made me fall for you, And I don't... So when I say "have" I guess what I really mean to say is "half" 'Cause that's exactly how much of myself feels missing in your absence Since I've met you, (Like truly met you with all eyes open) I feel insatiable for your presence I see now why they call gifts presents because to be truly present in another's life is one of the greatest gifts the universe could bestow upon an individual It's in these thoughts that I meet you once again You could be anywhere in the world, and you are, But tonight, I selfishly keep the thought of you closely to my heart Resounding in my mind Giving me peace in wholen...

Never give anyone benefit of doubt. You have nothing to benefit from doubt, except greater wisdom to stay the fuck away until shown otherwise. If they have not clearly communicated to earn your trust in that regard, then you have no business filling in the blanks. 💯

It is far too difficult to understand why we pine for those who hurt us, Why we allow our love and energy to be expended on those who will never love us back ..at least not in the way we need to feel healthy and nurtured Just remember that a seed must first break before it sprouts, And that a flower bud needs rain to bloom. -rs.darko

I buried my face in the clothes you left behind Foolishly hoping some scent remained in them for me to miss, Desperately clinging to the fibers like they couldn't accept the terms of our goodbye, Like they couldn't forget the quiver of our last kiss Faded polaroid photos.. Snapshot facades convicted in a thousand lies of happiness Even pictures could see that those memories were never meant to last And finally they and we could rest To be honest, I barely recognize the man from those photos And I've forgotten who that girl is...

I didn't get to write my weekend post because I woke up Saturday morning with the worst stomach sickness! :c[ If you're the workaholic kind of parent that I can sometimes be, then you understand how excruciating it can be to throw in the towel and just admit defeat to common illness. Needless to say, experiencing this amount of pain and uselessness while having to watch Ares is indeed unpleasant. One day off could mean a ton of setbacks with errands and chores, and missing out on a precious day with my quickly growing babe. Thankfully my amazing love and super dad swooped in to save the day by using one of his sick days from work. Together we were able to seemingly conquer the day... and by that I mean I slept for seven hours while he and the Ares hung out, intermittently nursing me back to health with their adorable shenanigans. I know it sucks having to take the time off from work at the same time as being away from your baby, but it is still important to take car...

I've heard that one of the more difficult parts of adjusting to parenthood is trying to find a balance between being a nurturing, new mother and still being a flirty, vivacious wife. I most definitely share in this sentiment! Don't get me wrong, it's not that my husband and I have lost attraction towards each other in any way. However, the healing process from a c-section birth can be long and grueling, and the process of feeling physically comfortable, let alone sexy and confident, might seem out of reach for a while. Becoming a mother is one of the most amazing blessings that a woman could receive, but the physical repercussions can be a little more than overwhelming. You find yourself wondering things like "will sex ever feel the same again," "how does my vagina plan to survive this," "is the remaining carnage I call my skin ever going to see the sun in a skimpy bikini again?" No matter your questions or concerns, I promise yo...

I decided, after some heavy introspection as of late, that I can attribute a huge part of my success this past year and a half to my ability to finally take a step back and face my most detrimental problems from which I had been running for almost ten years. [At some point you just gotta ask yourself why tf are you tripping on stuff that happened in, like, '07! Come on now..] Some may not know this, but, as much as Vegas feels like home to me, I've only lived here for four and a half years, and this is, in fact, the fifth state I've lived in. One of the common denominators of all my moves and uprootedness was that I was always running from something... whether it was a bad relationship, pressure from my family to go back to college, or just generally my own past tendencies and reputation. I was so caught up with trying to fit the mold of what everyone was expecting of me that I lost sight of my own personal dreams, and stopped allowing myself to discover new things to l...