Verbatim

I used to think I wanted a forever partner I’m a Scorpio, so you know I still do But everything is so finite in this reality, As you like to remind me, It’s all about timing Just don’t mind me being happy to have a couple moments for me and you Forever is a long time, A promise rarely upheld Perhaps forever is just a feeling like love itself Coming and going as it pleases Subconsciously fleeting, Like Nickelodeon or Disney  Always finding ways to return Comic books and super heroes Who died already then had the audacity To respawn in an alternate universe Perhaps this is just our origin story Two celestial bodies dancing around collision For the first time We find ourselves pulling closer by sheer magnitude Though we have our own solar systems to attend to… I can honestly say I love you Because I have for a while Though the feeling has reshaped and grown and shown me Different reasons why You know the clarity of atmospheric boundaries in a seemingly boundless sky Gravity giving purpose

Can we talk? Do you still have me blocked? Walking around with this heart half-cocked Tongue wrapped tightly around the trigger Dig a hole through my liver with escapes Reminds me of the way you taste Reminds me of plans we made How they found a way to dissipate Into mere memories of the life we thought we could create together I, too, thought “soulmates” meant forever Til we met a tempest we could not weather Like feathers whipping ‘round hurricanes Trying to grip each other by the fingertips Quill-written sonnets folded into paper planes Soggy from turbulent fights and extended trips away Funny how you always find reasons to stay When I’ve finally started feeling the sun upon my face Embracing raindrops in a light drizzle After several stormy days I’m okay In fact, I’m good. I said, I’m fucking GOOD. I don’t need an umbrella, thank you  When I say “umbrella,” I mean Trust issues and insecurities Disguised as protection and nurturing, Projected tendencies Toward possessiveness and emo

Chapter I  Full spectrum from black and white I've earned every stripe Of these rainbow fibers Woven refraction  Into crystalline skin Used to stripe myself Someone With nowhere to belong Felt like I never did Poor kid Dumped by Daddy Just as soon As he dumped his seed into The bastard stew Of my mother's womb Familiarized with feeling Displacement Before I ever even knew The difference Between being queer And just being a bit odd Following  A Furious God Well-versed in Merciless fire lost, profaned I grew accustomed to His Flames Blood became An acquired taste From biting my tongue Even laughed at the expense Of one of my friends, Ashamed to say I lacked the courage To come to her defense When they said, "She is such a dyke, Like, it is so obvious" Fear twinges in lightning strikes Would they suspect me next? At fifteen, Had my first lick of freedom Between my best friend's legs The kind of sweet nectar You never forget Softness that feels like sin Scent of cinna