Verbatim

Dark recess, While I reflect On the opposite side Of moonlight, Tells me I don't deserve you And it is right You are Never meant to be Something to possess Your presence A blessing, Our lessons learned Lessen My lack of purpose For you, I continue For you, I grow For you Are me, Sun, And so much more. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This little boy is the love and Light of my life. He illuminates me even when I am mostly darkness. I do not exist to steal his shine, but to reflect this back to him in his own darkest hours. Growing through what we go through. I will never give up on myself because I will never give up on him. Last week was a hard one. Depression is weird like that. One could be living in a state of bounty as I feel I am now. Spiritually, creatively, communally fulfilled, living a life of both physical and divine purpose in the integrity of my beliefs. Still the darkness lingers.

We humans Are Slippery little things I slipped into D e p r e s s i o n You slipped Out of sight. -Rs.Darko

My love for you is a distraction from risking letting someone close enough to truly love me. I'm more afraid of taking a real chance, and being hurt, than I am of withstanding your lukewarm rejections time and time again. I'd rather feed into the complacency of your maybe, than stake it all on a forever.

I told my rapist I loved him Because I did And in some ways I still do Even in the dark cloud of shame Whenever someone mentions his name Even though I never wanted to Do the things we did Somehow I convinced myself I asked for it Agreed that it would be our secret That hush upon my lips Turned to quiet consequence The loss of innocence At age 8 Bred two decades of self hate Which only boys and other poisons could satiate Medicated through the pain, but remained confused Allowed my body to be consumed Mistaken passion from sexual abuse I told my rapist I was sorry the day I finally refused At age 14 Torn between Continuing And screaming I was so scared to lose him Lose his attention It's so fucking disgusting to reminisce On the fact that throughout my adolescence This is what I understood of intimate affection At age 15 I would have done anything To no longer be a "virgin" To casualize sexual interaction Convince myself This was common p...

It takes two to tango, But only one to dance Leaves me shuddering at the thought Of a second chance At romance Time ceases With my heart Again in your hands What I know of seconds is they have a way Of always slipping away Slowly When the clouds resonate a dark gray Heartache hangs closely And I'm mostly Expecting The onslaught of rejection Guts twist In the midsection Redirection Of my intentions Suddenly I'm craving your attention Daydream indulgence In the different dimensions Of your affections What is love but another segmented season To dive into believing That we fall for honorable reasons To revel in the death of all the reds and golds To grasp at every syllable in quiet spells on untouched scrolls Reigniting our ember souls Misspoken words are the only ones which seem to be heard Side by side, two estranged worlds Intersect and twirl Cracks in her porcelain mask reveal the face of a scared little girl One second was split for these emo...

I give my time, you want my space I give my words, you want my taste I give my rhymes, you want a place Immortalized by my grace I give my flesh, you want my skin I give you solace, you want my sins I let you in, you want within Rims only frame the places we cannot hide Lies corrode the surfaces of every human eye

R. Frost was onto something when he predicted ice Because the coldness of your gaze Bites Like the desert wind Piercing through loose fibers As we wander these winter nights Thoughtful Thursday @thepoetslist "Ice Cold" poetry prompt

I wake up wanting to touch you Feel your breath between my fingertips Warm contrast To cold exteriors Begging for forgiveness As we brush against these strange sheets Tainted with secrets you've carried for me Midnight reveries Distracting thoughts Become my normalcy Insatiable love letters Whenever I hold these hands together In prayer In between nights shared, Pillow talk, and sweet nothings All which remains.. Reflected solace and tear stains Private conversations Sensations Begin to surface Quick fix Whenever I'm feeling nervous Questioning correlation Between my dreams and purpose You know me Like no one ever has Still I love you in anguish and impasse Not once have you complained Told me how heavy the burden To bear my pain Because you love me Like no one ever has And when I touch you My tension dissipates As I can finally relax Unwind with the subtle flick of your movements Tracing syllables unspoken Rendering this poet usele...

I buried my face in the clothes you left behind Foolishly hoping some scent remained in them for me to miss, Desperately clinging to the fibers like they couldn't accept the terms of our goodbye, Like they couldn't forget the quiver of our last kiss Faded polaroid photos.. Snapshot facades convicted in a thousand lies of happiness Even pictures could see that those memories were never meant to last And finally they and we could rest To be honest, I barely recognize the man from those photos And I've forgotten who that girl is...