Verbatim

Dark recess, While I reflect On the opposite side Of moonlight, Tells me I don't deserve you And it is right You are Never meant to be Something to possess Your presence A blessing, Our lessons learned Lessen My lack of purpose For you, I continue For you, I grow For you Are me, Sun, And so much more. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This little boy is the love and Light of my life. He illuminates me even when I am mostly darkness. I do not exist to steal his shine, but to reflect this back to him in his own darkest hours. Growing through what we go through. I will never give up on myself because I will never give up on him. Last week was a hard one. Depression is weird like that. One could be living in a state of bounty as I feel I am now. Spiritually, creatively, communally fulfilled, living a life of both physical and divine purpose in the integrity of my beliefs. Still the darkness lingers.

Crooked smirk, chubby cheeks Some people say you resemble me But you are every bit unique Peppered with the duality Of your Daddy's interests Your Mama's mischief Your Grandma's heart And your Papa's affinity for Sweet Tarts Silly and smiling we sway and sing You get that twinkle in your eyes when you're learning, Beautiful little thing The way you suck your lips in when you're thinking... Or when you're hiding something Brightly radiating Like the days of summer on which you were born Water in Sun resonates warmth A balance between adventure and emotion Equally tumultuous, waves of ocean Crashing playfully against the shore When I look at you, I see more.. More to experience, more to grow I daydream about all the places we'll go To give our Wild the space it needs To wiggle our toes Test all the waters we have yet to see I promise, I have so many plans for you and me They're closer than you think Just reach up for the star...

I'm not a perfect parent I'm not even certain I'm a decent person Sometimes I struggle just to pay rent Sometimes I smile even when I'm hurtin' All I can hope for is that he's learnin' That somehow my smiles have a way of turnin' His bad days into good ones His zero moments into lump sums No, not only that of the monetary, Though I'm sure that couldn't hurt, But to keep away feelings of the solitary No matter how many times I myself revert 'Cause true love does not confine For I found no shelter to forever be safe No corner too kind to let the rest go to waste What an injustice it would be To keep him here solely for me Just 'cause for once I truly feel happy But, no, I want way too much more for him I want him to be free I wish only to be the roots to his ever-growing tree So I may keep him grounded without keeping him too far From heaven, or from his own perfect place in the stars. For Arthur Reese

Hello again, digital world! I am back on the interwebs and with a fresh perspective at that. I know this blog is less than a spec in the grand scheme of the world, but I felt I should explain, to anyone who cares, the reason(s) for my four-month hiatus. After writing my eighth month birthday post for Arthur, I realized that I was dissatisfied with my blog, but I wasn't exactly sure why. I absolutely loved sharing my little updates about Arthur's growth and development, and loved sharing all the little "mommyisms" that I was discovering day by day. It was the fact that I did not feel comfortable being 100% transparent about my personal experiences with motherhood because I knew that my general lifestyle is considered questionable by some, and easily judged by many. My biggest fear was that writing the complete truth would incur some controversy, particularly with the more traditional branches of my extended family. However, I have been doing some serious soul searchin...

I love you, my beautiful boy.. always so curious, so adventurous, and so compassionate! You are an absolute joy to everyone you meet. Mama and Daddy are so proud! ▪ Ares is becoming quite the little dancer and xylophone player! I'm ecstatic to see his love of music developing so early! ❤ ▪ He watched (and paid attention to) his first Disney movie, Moana! He recognizes the songs when we play them for him now. ▪ He is standing strong and beginning to take little steps on his own! He even gains quite a bit of speed when we give him our hands for support. ▪ He is holding his own toothbrush and trying to copy us as we brush our teeth together! Also, he has been trying to feed himself now (very messily lol). I am just so impressed by his dexterity for his age. We've reached lots of milestones this month... there seem to be more and more every month as they are flying by! Now enjoy some photos from Arthur's first road trip to California for Tito Quito's b...

I didn't get to write my weekend post because I woke up Saturday morning with the worst stomach sickness! :c[ If you're the workaholic kind of parent that I can sometimes be, then you understand how excruciating it can be to throw in the towel and just admit defeat to common illness. Needless to say, experiencing this amount of pain and uselessness while having to watch Ares is indeed unpleasant. One day off could mean a ton of setbacks with errands and chores, and missing out on a precious day with my quickly growing babe. Thankfully my amazing love and super dad swooped in to save the day by using one of his sick days from work. Together we were able to seemingly conquer the day... and by that I mean I slept for seven hours while he and the Ares hung out, intermittently nursing me back to health with their adorable shenanigans. I know it sucks having to take the time off from work at the same time as being away from your baby, but it is still important to take car...