Verbatim

I'm learning to be more myself And less of what has happened to me Been trying for a while Truthfully It's mostly been denial Overcompensation for pain I still can hardly understand Because when I made them smile, It made me smile And it felt good.. Never noticing I had now put my happiness into their hands instead, Anyone's hands but my own Looking down at my foreign fingers I saw clumsy and careless Instead of home I wanted to make a home out of someone else's hands.. Just as clumsy and careless as mine, I'm sure, but with bigger plans To be the uplifting hero I always needed in times I couldn't stand Myself That self I never gave a chance to truly learn.. Victim of these burns I turned away from her Unable to face the horrors of what was left behind But these scars are mine And though I will not let them define me I will take the time to finally open up my eyes and see Me. I cannot love myself if I haven't taken the time to learn myself first Lemme say th

She carries a heart as heavy as her hands Too passionately powerful to not destroy anything she tries to hold onto for too long

The ground trembles with the ancient fury of my ancestors All fire and magma Scorched earth sepulchre Cleansing these fragmented soils with a reason for us to unify for once How we have forgotten the taste of salty channels and canals coursing through our native blood We have forgotten how our Lolo's Lolos fought with blades and yo-yos for a time that we could consider ourselves free Able to enjoy the fish and fruits of our paradise in peace Raped and ravaged by our first Christian king Cleansing the "savage" from our culture Disregarding the scholars who surrendered with raised hands Weapons which spout fire across our lands Open rice paddy fields where no trench is deep enough to hide, But deep enough to be buried Christened by a man of greed with a name our people can hardly even say Well, they can mask a conquest under the Word of God Spoken by a man proclaiming that we need to be saved We knew only of chains before they even gave us a name Still we smile, proudly Pin

Teach me how to care less Fearlessly feel less Without the worry of my interest losing interest I touch myself to make sure I'm still here Because sometimes I worry about disappearing And whether I bleed or cum I am grateful for the feeling They say to pinch yourself if you think you're dreaming.. What is pain but the brain's sensory processing The Matrix still hurts, Pretty sure it could still kill you too Whether it's real or not doesn't make the damage less true If you believe in that sort of thing, Feed into those meanderings.. Even though it's not what we avid thinkers have been taught The mind can kill itself just by never letting the thinking stop If thats the case, I might be short a couple shakes From blowing off my own top Summer's around the corner And it might feel better lost Let the brain breathe Inhaled intelligence Cleansed conscience Consciousness compromised by that which makes us cautious

Honestly, this doesn't feel very situated Fixated maybe on the hope of feelings being reciprocated I'm up at 6am contemplating If this is more friendship than dating Or if I'm simply satiating That itch for codependency Hopefully waiting For these emotions to grow into something less complicating Both of us showing interest Neither one ready to attempt to invest I try not to think of what may come next Fully enjoy your presence in each of our moments I say I'm married to the grind Really I'm committed to my time And this is quite unlike me To not want to make you mine Because you occupy my mind More often than I'd like to admit I'm taking things slow to know this won't be something I'll regret If resentment is our inevitable descent I'd rather keep you as a friend instead Because this love I feel doesn't outweigh my respect In my opinion, that's a harder thing to get The grammar of our body language may get my lips wet But a tongue well-v

I am tired of being the bigger person When all I want is to shrink myself down So I can begin to grasp things from your disturbed and small perception Clamorous talk of the town How you try to make an enemy of me to anyone who will listen Repetitive noise has a way of drawing people in regardless Heartless how you contort words and situations Yet accuse others of these same manipulations Gaping hole in your chest which cannot be filled with anything but hypocrisy and your own need for validation In the dirt of your denial, Burying yourself alive Burying yourself in lies And projections of your own reflection in mine Inflated ego is an epidemic Which so many find righteous reasons to follow It's true, trust me A pill I myself have also had to swallow Honestly, I feel sorry for you That you feel so threatened by my living my truth Moving with the shifts and tilts in this tumultuous time I've grown accustomed to I know myself, through all my changes and imperfections Never denied

So what if they don't love you, they're only seeking love of self.. But if eye am I and eye am you, then love is just love if for no one else. Sweet reminded reflection, dual introspection... Putting romantic diction to use. Eyes open see truth supposedly, but what happens when the truth is we all lie awake in bed wondering where these thoughts come from and where they go when we're dead. I forget about things I've said, suddenly all I remember is the feeling... And even if the thought of love is fleeting, I remember that the importance wasn't the love itself, but being.

1. Moonlight Fae (w/ guitar) 2. Honeysuckle✔ 3. Song for the Ages✔ 4. Shrinking✔ 5. What I Really Really Want 6. Near Me (song) 7. Red Flags✔ 8. Diamond Cut 9. Fuck You✔ 10. Queen Flow (song) 11. Daddy Issues✔ 12. Arthur Reese (w/ guitar) 13. 20-Something Still✔ 14. Enter the Darko (song) 15. Spilled Ink✔ 16. Reflected✔ 17. Perennial (w/ guitar) ~~~~~ **Cut from project** Untitled (Clay Poem) Used Restin' Piece Poet

Rarely have artists been built upon stability. It is the imperfect, tumultuous nature of life which forges the best artistry. At least thats what I have learned/experienced. Art should be the solution to ease your problems or at least give you some insight as to how to grow through whatever shift you're experiencing. I really feel that to continue to try to keep your "worlds" separated is a true disservice to your growth as an artist. If you want to be serious about being the artist you know you have the potential to be, you need to let go of these rifts within yourself and fully allow your art to be reflected in every facet of your being...

Please excuse me For confusing Everything Which sounds like love For something my heart could dance to Her wounds are still barely stitched Though she hungers for love in every corner Blood pumping thick and sticky through busted seams Candy apple dreams She recovers from every bite with yet another sweet tooth