Honestly Fuck Valentine’s Day

Can we talk?

Do you still have me blocked?

Walking around with this heart half-cocked

Tongue wrapped tightly around the trigger

Dig a hole through my liver with escapes

Reminds me of the way you taste

Reminds me of plans we made

How they found a way to dissipate

Into mere memories of the life we thought we could create together

I, too, thought “soulmates” meant forever

Til we met a tempest we could not weather

Like feathers whipping ‘round hurricanes

Trying to grip each other by the fingertips

Quill-written sonnets

folded into paper planes

Soggy from turbulent fights and extended trips away

Funny how you always find reasons to stay

When I’ve finally started feeling the sun upon my face

Embracing raindrops in a light drizzle

After several stormy days

I’m okay

In fact, I’m good.

I said, I’m fucking GOOD.

I don’t need an umbrella, thank you 

When I say “umbrella,” I mean

Trust issues and insecurities

Disguised as protection and nurturing,

Projected tendencies

Toward possessiveness and emotional codependency

We can’t keep dancing around the reality

With fancy footwork

Finally figuring out how to keep the ball in my court

After two too many time-outs later…

Benched your all-star all season

Expecting me to come back and play better

Thought you said this wasn’t a game

Somehow you still played yourself

Blame it on mental health 

Blame it on my masochism

How every kiss feels like lyrics

From a fucking SZA track

That shit is not healthy

You say you’ve changed

Here’s a thought for your penny

You can bank on it interest-free

My exchange rate has risen

Now I don’t think you can afford me

My time is expensive

My investments too precious

To spend another second on a partner

Who can’t even pay attention