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We breathed in stale night air Drifting between bars of light cast thru peeking blinds And their draping shadows quivering in the draft I gazed upon you like a mountain in the horizon on a starry night Rising and falling with every sigh As if the wind were dancing thru its summer branches We giggled and you hugged me And I tangled my legs into yours Laced fingers memorizing your signature on every tip We stretched our warmth to the farthest reaches of our atmospheric shell... My mind floated off in the distance as consciousness escaped me And I too became one with the mountainscape

Love is a crutch Of which I know much Cause I've broken just about every piece of myself That my tired soul could touch Now I'm splintered and still aching for a lift Retired your soggy shoulder Now just looking for a calm place to sit So we can hash out all the indiscretions All our half-eaten words and misconceptions Both bull headed and stubborn, but with soft beating hearts Both blind, deaf, and dumb, but still bleeding for the stars Love is this pain that keeps striking at me still Constantly testing my short patience and lack of will My selfish stance now sacrificed at two broken knees Yet every reverie reminds me of why it's you I need Every good deed comes with an expectant reprieve Every incepted seed comes with a silent scream Compromise at every corner, but what is dignity? Too proud, too selfish to consider the err in me.

The tiny hairs along my arms and back stood up As a cool breeze wandered through Threading on my knitted sleeves But the stubborn clouds remained unmoved Stationery and picturesque against the watercolored sky Illuminated only by the last surviving strands of sunlight And the combative street lamps sparking dim halos Down every darkened street corner Rays of hope for the lost and forgotten I myself was lost in that moment of leaning into the young night's wind Allowing her to brush against my cheek And caress my ears with her sweet nothing whispers A soft-spoken devil Leading me towards the tempest With bright starry eyes and a daydream heart And entitled afflictions pumping through curious veins I was never the same after that moment Awakened with the utmost clarity of where I wanted to be Forever lost within the night The night forever darkening the best in me

Is there no haven from this blazing hell around me Twenty six years I've been running with a bounty Finally tripped and fell and now I fear the devil's found me With his blue collared crucifix I can't say I'm sleeping soundly Instead I toss and turn so much Even the sheep have started counting And now one by one I can feel their weight surround me Suffocating bullshit but they speak it so profoundly Now I'm landing toe tipped, tripping over fine print Every petty mistake was another dollar spent And I've been breathing check to check Yet I haven't smelled one cent Instead I spent every second second-guessing what I could or should have done Never noticing the little victories I've won In between the schemes and the daily routines of another passing sun Oh that sun, with a warmth I've just barely begun to feel My daily eucharist, spiritual meal Allow me to give forgive and heal As I kneel down to the water at my feet The cool and ...

The brightest star always shines and saturates the air with her warmth Touches the farthest reaches of space where, even then, She sparkles like a beautiful gem against the night sky Only pure darkness could enhance this spectrum of light and color Filling it with a rainbow of precious moments Of smiles, and hugs Of comfort, and love Of irreplaceable sentiment Though a stranger to me, I could share in your light Never catching onto your onslaught of darkness.. For each dusk, rises a new dawn And though she's gone, her sparkle will live on for all to see She was beautiful, and though I didn't know her well enough to take away the emptiness of the black hole that grew inside her, I will always allow her warmth to live inside me And spread the kindness of her words to me, The spectacular radiance of her positivity In loving memory Monica.

She sleeps under a blanket of darkness Freckled with the sparkle of God's fireworks Where the earth meets the heavens, But you can't tell where one ends and the other begins It is here that she is happy It is here where she finds hope Here the silence doesn't scare her And she is never alone I thought home was where the heart is, But really it is where your heart can grow Where your seeds can turn to stems turn to branches turn to fruit Until their turn to be rightfully sown

Brain tired and dead Everything thought has already been said Where is my muse? Still bitter and bitching from my mental abuse I'm sorry and still full of excuses Nothing to show but a collection of exes Now I've vexed myself into a standstill Hand well acquainted with the perch upon my windowsill Is there a life beyond this daydream still? Always hungry, soul famished, can't get my fill Led Zeppelin lyrics like fortune cookie crumbs Chiseled a fingerprint atlas upon my thumb, Life's lessons on my tongue And with a drippy drop it leaves me feeling numb I never said I was a good girl, but I'm a soul with good intentions Always skated by with an honorable mention Now I'm slipping down a blue ribbon road with red lining Gold star pin, but I'm not shining My faint glimmer follows as I chase the sun Like on a merry-go-round I'm dizzy and spun Lain out and gutted with my stitches undone And maybe some say "vulnerable" like they ...