I'm Trying To Stay Fucking Positive

Frustrations swell behind my smile

I don't feel like myself today..

No, I'm not Black,

But I am at war

Within my own body

I cannot hide the hurt in my face

The twist in my gut

Every time someone tries to say

Anything to defend these fucking pigs

Fuck

I really can't even hide it

I've tried to stay positive

But truthfully,

I'm fucking pissed

And right now

I don't even give a fuck about a rhyme scheme

Or the fact that every other line screams obscenity

Because these are the days of riots

And people being murdered in the streets

At the hands of racistass police

STILL!

You think we are gonna go quietly!?

Back to back in two fucking weeks

You don't even give us a chance to breathe

In between these

Goddamn tragedies

Black people have been dying like this for ages

Only now we all got cell phones

And the cops got cameras that don't do shit

But make us watch our brothers and sisters

Being killed more closely

Listening to the curdle of their screams

From a place where we can do nothing

Immediately

But cry and get pissed on social media

As they can continue to control the narrarive

Keeping us emotionally reactive

Trying to make us out to be the crazy fucking savages they always knew we were..

Antagonists who preach about how bad it is to loot

Then smash

Out the windows of an AutoZone wearing a mask,

Thinking no one's gonna know who..

We know it's you trigger-happy motherfuckers

Just waiting for another reason to shoot

I only pray that 2020 truly is the year for clarity

Because I don't know how many more horrible things

We can endure before we all fucking snap mentally

I'm trying to stay positive

But I am also trying to stay real as fuck

We need to start talking about our Black brothers and sisters in their triumphs

Instead of spreading stories of their spilled blood

Sharing modern day lynching thru the digital world

We might not be able to prevent the next hashtag

Or the next one after that

But we can encourage each other to not give up hope

Get involved, stay informed, protest, vote

I know it's easier said than done

When our spirits are feeling crumbled and broke

But damnit, this injustice must end with us

And it's gonna take more than a couple of angry Facebook posts