White Noise

I am tired of being the bigger person

When all I want is to shrink myself down

So I can begin to grasp things from your disturbed and small perception

Clamorous talk of the town

How you try to make an enemy of me to anyone who will listen

Repetitive noise has a way of drawing people in regardless

Heartless how you contort words and situations

Yet accuse others of these same manipulations

Gaping hole in your chest which cannot be filled with anything but hypocrisy and your own need for validation

In the dirt of your denial,

Burying yourself alive

Burying yourself in lies

And projections of your own reflection in mine

Inflated ego is an epidemic

Which so many find righteous reasons to follow

It's true, trust me

A pill I myself have also had to swallow

Honestly, I feel sorry for you

That you feel so threatened by my living my truth

Moving with the shifts and tilts in this tumultuous time I've grown accustomed to

I know myself, through all my changes and imperfections

Never denied my struggle with my lack of direction

But, hey, I'm so happy you feel confident

Enough to bless me with your judgment

To help me filter out people who were looking for reasons

To question my every movement

Deny me of my vision

Challenging the intentions of my own disposition

You don't think I do the same?

I pick myself apart everyday

And I've never been afraid

Of admitting where I lack and where I have strayed

Only ever striving for change