Verbatim

He uses my own scars against me Creating new ones of his own design It's not his strength that I'm intimidated by Nor the look in his eyes when he's making me cry It's that I start to "understand" why I could deserve punishment just for enjoying the warmth of my shine

After my gold paint turned to rust What once shimmered now turned to dust And I began to lose trust that you would come back 'round to me again Oh what a fool I've been To just sit here waiting for an end But these horses aren't real And this love was just pretend..

I must be a pitcher of ice cold water because on these hot summer days People be looking at me Thirsty As fuck But just because your brain is sensing Just exactly how refreshing I can be Please, don't start waving your empty cup at me You see, it takes a lot for me to feel fulfilled And I've already had one too many spills Of this precious Wet Mess Of mine Far too many times Has a weary, dehydrated mind come to me cryin' Miming gestures To suggest his weather Has made him conjecture That I might be the kind of drink that could make him feel better But I can't, I'm sorry, However tempting I've just barely gotten over feeling "half-empty" For so long and now I am finally accepting This mess of mine For the enlightening tingle I can send in wrinkles thru your spine With nothing but the touch of a well-placed rhyme.. Drink me in With my waterfall of emotion If and when I decide to share my condensation Until from your own sk...

I hobbled over to you halfway broken, Soul stripped with nothing but a heart for a sleeve,

I've stopped trying to hide behind gritted teeth, clenched fists, and jabs But to be honest, my heart still itches from all the scabs And aches from deep wounds that can't be soothed by guitar tabs Sometimes I think of things that we've said to each other For a while could've sworn we were dead to each other Words always remained unheard by each other.. Unheard and unspoken At least not in a way that wasn't broken Oops, that's a double negative Like two people unable to forget So how could they forgive But life goes on, And we both continue trying to put one foot in front of the other in the same direction Up Uphill and upset But somehow still positive.. Starting not to feel like I'm drowning in regret, Or like I'm only existing to outlive my emotional debt For promises unkept and nights left unslept.. With so many long shadows, I find this new brightness hard to accept

It's such a relief to be Almost thirty And finally coming to grips with reality.. The other day someone asked me If I ever wished I could go back and be That same girl maybe twenty two, twenty three Itty bitty, baby faced cheese All swaggy and steez Wild and free The life of every party With an endless wardrobe and a pretty bangin' body Ha Sure, a body starved of self-validation maybe No, actually, a body literally starving Just to try and fit into an old pair of jeans I wasn't wild, I was reckless, lost I got my freedom at expensive costs The center of attention and yet always alone A man's arms were an easy place to call home With lampshade love you're only ever catching projections Of a need to overcome any feelings of rejection Not to mention The self-obsession With always needing their attention Complacency allows for sorry memory retention So the same mistakes become exceptions And history repeats itself in explanations Physical sens...

Dead laughter Scores nightmares of Happily Never Afters With a couple o' one-way tickets down a road to disaster Still I feel like I've been falling faster My brain started feeling like pancake batter Fire strains, mixing flower with confectionery shatter And now I feel my pulse fading to the background amongst a room full of chatter Idle prattle of grazing sheeple and social cattle Pure bred stallions awaiting their leather saddles Typical setbacks and standstills Making volcanoes out of anthills, Powersaws out of windmills I'm not a liar, nor a lover But I still live for cheap thrills And still catch myself daydreaming by my windowsills