Twenty-something Still

It's such a relief to be
Almost thirty
And finally coming to grips with reality..
The other day someone asked me
If I ever wished I could go back and be
That same girl maybe twenty two, twenty three
Itty bitty, baby faced cheese
All swaggy and steez
Wild and free
The life of every party
With an endless wardrobe and a pretty bangin' body
Ha
Sure, a body starved of self-validation maybe
No, actually, a body literally starving
Just to try and fit into an old pair of jeans
I wasn't wild, I was reckless, lost
I got my freedom at expensive costs
The center of attention and yet always alone
A man's arms were an easy place to call home
With lampshade love you're only ever catching projections
Of a need to overcome any feelings of rejection
Not to mention
The self-obsession
With always needing their attention
Complacency allows for sorry memory retention
So the same mistakes become exceptions
And history repeats itself in explanations
Physical sensations distort vibrations of the higher mind
And for me back then, I was more tired than blind
Always caught up on rewind
Trying to make up for misplaced time
Spent on people who left me feeling moreso foolish than kind
Nowadays I try to stay caught up in my rhymes
A riot mind
Striving to reacquaint people's hearts with their spines
And their mouths with their tongues
To wage inspired voices to fill lungs,
Instead of bullets into guns,
Shaping a better tomorrow for our daughters and our sons
Sure you can say that my twenties are almost done
But who's to say my heyday had to be when I was young