Rare Form

-

I feel like shit

Not sick

Like a piece of shit

Excrement

Fluent

From these lips

Like I just can’t help it


Resident to this foul mouth

I should reside on someone’s couch

Instead

So they can shrink me down

Into scrips and tips

Lessons to improve within

The confines of my head


Then I can stop feeding

Into every little stint of seething anger

when I’m heated 

Screaming

leaving my kettle on the burner

Til I’m overflowing lava

Spouting tea at your face and sternum 

I’m seated

Steaming now

In my self-made hell

Straddled between needing you

And needing some time to myself


I just wanna be healthy

Wanna stop being petty

I just wanna be happy

Instead of finding faults in every nook and cranny

Like I’m so damn perfect

Such a prize to be won

Untouchable by neither the Moon nor Sun

I’m fucking crippled by my own self destruction

I know it’s no excuse

Subconsciously sabotage might just be what I’m used to

Or what I’ve known

Instead of claiming these issues as my own 


Instead of crying and running

Here I am desperately thumbing at my phone

Searching for the words to tell you 

I don’t want this to be over

I don’t want space

I wanna trace the spaces between us

With thoughts of our love

Memories of how your freckles taste

Across the backside of my tongue

Erase any bad blood

Created by selfishness

And shit communication

I wanna learn what YOU need

I wanna stop starting sentences with the word “I”

Not gonna lie,

It’s kinda hard, but I’m trying 


This is more apology than love letter 

A proclamation

I know that I can do better

Or at the very least show some recognition

Of my love for you without inhibitions

Appreciation without conditions

Intentionally indulge in our affections

Without the subtle taste of addiction


You are soul medicine

Sometimes I overdose

Lashing out for more

When you’ve been giving me the most


You’ve got scars… but so do I

It can be hard to see eye to eye

Every now and again

I can go completely blind

To how much you bend

Just to see from my perspective


You say maybe love isn’t enough 

But I refuse to believe that’s all we’ve got 

We live in laughter, and profound thoughts

Pictures can’t even capture

The depths of our bond

Captivated in every step of our connection

We might take different strides

Somehow I always find

Myself dancing in your direction  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Origins

-
I’m not crazy, weathered at worst Like early days of earth Rubble rock birthing life from  violent destruction Fires burning molten in the underbelly of my origins Bubbling beneath cracked surfaces Where I oftentimes appear stable My heart is a volcano Bursting at the seams where new ground must form Former foundations crumbling, splitting like Pangaea  Where connections we once had feel like nothing more than distant history Evolution of man How he crawled out of water to feel sun upon his face How I would wait hundreds of thousands of years  In hopes he’d emerge from darkness to find me Staring out into space The nostalgia of quiet combustion Peering into past lives in the distance Knowing most of what I know to be beautiful is dead I am a supernova  Bursting at the seams where new life may form  Gathering masses from stray debris Gasses and gravity Nebulous love Pulling together new solar systems  in ancient designs and unwritten formulas Life is messy Somehow we find a way to fall
Read more

I don’t want to write poetry anymore I just wanna talk shit

-
Where do I begin When the whole world has been crumbling for a minute All of us fighting for this pot to piss in like it’s the only place to sit Game of porcelain thrones Everyone bleeding over one-ply papers Worth international deficit Shout out to my American privilege Where ignorance is protected And propaganda is the primary news outlet No scorn over countries war torn, just know both sides are US funded Terror isn’t as terrifying til you and yours become the target When it comes knocking at your door Economic decline existing solely in the working class and poor Gas is $4.20 in Vegas on a good day I’m just trying to make it to work Make it work Knowing someone else is benefiting from this sweat Thirty percent of this check Already guaranteed to the government Navigating tourist traffic They have a habit of making us their escape Make us wait as they wade through ensembles of tax dollars on display While teachers take yet another strike day Begging for a fraction of what is deserve
Read more

Co-ping

-
I hate you the most when I really need you And you're there like you've always been Like you're still my best friend and we can face anything together Like I never left, Like you never let me.. Like we didn't have to let the story end And maybe there was still a chance for happily ever after Something about the softness in your eyes Or the secret in your smile Suddenly you didn't seem so evil I wept, and you held me closely Lips whispering in my ear, "You'll always be family" Heart screaming, "I'll always love you" Some things really don't ever change Because you've always loved me most when I needed to be saved I only crave you like my last cigarette When I see you making someone else happy Giving them that fix you used to give me, Or when I smell you and momentarily I am tempted by the familiarity My fingerstips itching to paint you in my past regrets I hate you most when I see you growing into the man I always wished you had be
Read more