don't let this 🗑️ass poem be the last thing I ever write

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Some days I find myself barely hanging on by the fingertips
With nightly prayers thumbing softly through fleeting thoughts of never waking up

Sometimes I beg for a massacre between someone's lips
To slit my throat with soggy truths
That none of us make it out of here alive anyway
And maybe I'd be a little less lonely on the other side

Where promises are never broken,
Plans are always kept,
Where I wouldn't have to worry about another pathetic night left unslept
Waking up an unkempt reminder
That time knows only how to wither and decay
How matters of my heart's affections
Know only how to lessen and stray

Another one of life's lessons, they say
Favored student
With straight As
Even amidst every L I've caught
Cover to cover
You could call me self taught
Distraught beneath a calm surface
You smile when you're happy,
While I smile with purpose

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