Alone

Sometimes on still nights

I still find myself missing him

Thoughts of Loneliness set in

I remember all our passion,

The magical poetry we’ve written

Thumbing through volumes

of our midnight monologues

Driveling down tear-stained looseleaf

I can’t even tell if I miss him

Or the inspiration caused by my suffering 

Solitude knocks at the door

Asks me if I want company

I tell her I don’t know

if I can be happily alone

Perhaps I’m not strong enough

to stop the onslaught of stray thoughts,

my inevitable sabotage

Solitude kisses me on the cheek

Tells me she’s never seen

anything so beautiful

Weaves her fingers through every curl and corner

Showering in cool contentments

Sunbeams falling upon chilled skin

Wind-bitten

Healing, not hidden

Solitude gives me space

without thwarting her affections

She reaches for my hand

Tells me she sees me for all I am

Says I’m safe with her 

Imperfect human

Every scar a treasure

Says Loneliness was all I had

when I didn’t truly feel worthy

Tells me,

“It won’t happen overnight honey

Be patient with yourself while you’re learning

One day silence will no longer scare you 

You’ll no longer feel guilt over past conversations

Your imagination will create only what is to come

instead of replaying what you could have done

Forgiveness hums 

through soft melodies and beating drums

To be alone

is to find peace in all being one