Some days I find myself barely hanging on by the fingertips With nightly prayers thumbing softly through fleeting thoughts of never waking up Sometimes I beg for a massacre between someone's lips To slit my throat with soggy truths That none of us make it out of here alive anyway And maybe I'd be a little less lonely on the other side Where promises are never broken, Plans are always kept, Where I wouldn't have to worry about another pathetic night left unslept Waking up an unkempt reminder That time knows only how to wither and decay How matters of my heart's affections Know only how to lessen and stray Another one of life's lessons, they say Favored student With straight As Even amidst every L I've caught Cover to cover You could call me self taught Distraught beneath a calm surface You smile when you're happy, While I smile with purpose